I have been taking an acting improv class. Within improv there is a principal called “yes…and”.
In improv, the person you are working with is making something up spontaneously and offering it to you to do something with. When we don’t know what to do sometimes we are tempted to reject the offering and totally change it, this derails the other person and creates no generative momentum.
So in improv it is always yes…and, we receive the offering and we add to it, amplify it, expand it, and improve it.
We are so often in the same position in life, somebody makes an offering of some sort. We may be tempted to change it, negate it, show what is wrong with it, or tear it down.
In a business development session a few months ago, I was working with a team that had a lot of tearing down, negating patterns. In this process, I came up with a principal for similar to “yes…and.” I call it, “yes or something better”. We eliminated any negating, or tearing down, in the meetings you were only allowed to agree or improve on whatever was on the table. It was amazing how it changed the energy.
The easiest way to be powerful is to negate. When you take negation out of the picture all of the powerful people take up the tool of something better, to build more, create more, improve.
Try “yes or something better” in your meetings, with your spouse, with yourself. To think of something better you really have to ask the question “what are we trying to achieve?” and “ What is important?”; these questions bring us into alignment, cooperation, and collaboration.
Amp up your next family vacation with “yes or something better”, what will your family come up with?